Preparing for Your First Online Therapy Session: Essential Questions to Ask Your New Therapist

Person questions another person while holding a cup of coffee

Introduction

Embarking on therapy is a courageous and empowering journey toward personal growth and self-discovery—one that requires you to step into a space of vulnerability and trust. In today’s complex world, where our lives are shaped by intersecting identities, systemic oppression, and the nuances of personal experience, choosing a trans and queer therapist who genuinely aligns with your needs, values, and goals becomes not just important, but essential.

Every person carries with them a unique story, woven from the threads of their identity, history, and the broader social context in which they live. As we navigate the challenges and joys of our lives, it is vital to have a therapeutic partner who understands and honours these complexities. Whether you are seeking therapy to manage the weight of anxiety, to explore and affirm your identity, or to heal from the deep wounds of past trauma, the therapist you choose should be someone who can walk alongside you with empathy, respect, and a commitment to justice.

This post is designed to guide you through the essential questions to ask when selecting a therapist, helping you to find a practitioner who not only possesses the necessary expertise but who also embodies a commitment to anti-oppressive and decolonial practices. By engaging in this process thoughtfully, you set the stage for a therapeutic journey that is not only supportive and safe but also genuinely transformative.

These questions will delve into various aspects of therapy, including the therapist’s approach, their cultural competence, and how they integrate an awareness of power, privilege, and oppression into their work. By ensuring that your therapist is attuned to the intricate layers of your identity and the broader systemic forces that impact your life, you can embark on a therapeutic path that feels affirming, inclusive, and tailored to your unique experience.

At its heart, therapy is about connection—connection to oneself, to one’s inner wisdom, and to the healing process. It is also about the connection between client and therapist, a relationship that, when grounded in mutual respect and understanding, becomes a powerful catalyst for change. As you prepare to take this step, remember that the right therapist is one who sees you fully, honours your story, and is committed to supporting you as you navigate the complexities of your life.

Understanding Cultural Competence and Anti-Oppressive Practice in Online Therapy

Finding a therapist who is not only culturally competent but also deeply committed to anti-oppressive practice is essential for creating a therapeutic environment where you can feel safe, supported, and truly understood. In a world where systemic oppression and intersecting identities shape our lived experiences, the need for a therapist who can navigate these complexities with empathy and insight cannot be overstated.

While your therapist may not share your exact background, it is crucial that they demonstrate a thoughtful understanding of, and empathy for, the unique challenges faced by individuals from diverse and intersecting identities, including race, gender, sexual orientation, ability, and socioeconomic status. This understanding goes beyond mere acknowledgment; it requires an active engagement with the social, cultural, and historical forces that impact your life and well-being.

Consider asking these questions to ensure that your therapist is equipped to provide the culturally competent and anti-oppressive care you deserve:

1. How does your own identity and background inform your work as a therapist?

A therapist’s identity and personal experiences can significantly shape their therapeutic approach. Asking this question helps you understand how they perceive their own identity in relation to their practice and how it may influence their work with clients from different backgrounds.

2. What specific training or education have you had in anti-oppressive and decolonial practices?

It is important to know whether your therapist has sought out specialized training or education in anti-oppressive frameworks and decolonial practices. This ensures that they are not only aware of systemic issues but are also equipped with the tools to address them effectively in therapy.

3. How do you address issues related to systemic oppression, such as racism, transphobia, or ableism, in your therapeutic practice?

This question invites the therapist to discuss how they confront and dismantle systemic oppression within their practice. Their response can reveal whether they are actively working to create an environment where all clients feel validated and supported, regardless of the systemic barriers they face.

4. Can you provide examples of how you have supported clients who face multiple forms of marginalization, such as being LGBTQ+ and having a disability?

This question allows you to gauge the therapist’s experience in working with clients who occupy multiple marginalized identities. Their examples can offer insight into their ability to navigate the complexities of intersectionality and provide tailored, compassionate care.

5. How do you ensure that your practice is accessible and inclusive for all clients, including those with disabilities or those who experience other systemic barriers?

Accessibility is a key component of an anti-oppressive practice. By asking this question, you can assess how the therapist ensures their services are inclusive and accessible to all clients, taking into account physical, financial, and other potential barriers to care.

Jennifer Mullan (2023), in her book Decolonizing Therapy, emphasizes that therapists must engage in decolonial and anti-oppression work not just in theory but as a daily practice. This involves recognizing the historical and systemic roots of trauma and oppression and understanding how these forces affect clients’ mental health (Mullan, 2023). By asking these questions, you are taking an active role in ensuring that your therapist is not only culturally competent but also committed to dismantling the oppressive structures that impact your life. This approach to therapy creates a space where healing can occur not just on an individual level but also within the broader context of social justice and collective liberation.

The Importance of Transparency in Therapy

Transparency is a cornerstone of a successful therapeutic relationship, providing a foundation of trust and open communication between therapist and client. When a therapist is transparent about their methods, expectations, and boundaries, it allows you to feel more secure and informed throughout your therapeutic journey. This transparency is particularly vital in ensuring that you are an active participant in your own healing process, which aligns with an anti-oppressive and decolonial approach to therapy.

Consider asking these questions to assess a therapist’s commitment to transparency:

1. How do you communicate the goals and progress of therapy?

Understanding how your therapist will keep you informed about the goals and progress of therapy is essential. Jennifer Mullan (2023) emphasizes the importance of transparency in creating a space where clients feel empowered to actively engage in their healing process. This question can help you assess whether the therapist practices transparency and keeps you actively involved in the therapeutic process.

2. How do you handle confidentiality and the privacy of my information?

Confidentiality is a fundamental aspect of therapy, and it’s crucial to know how your therapist protects your privacy. Asking this question ensures that you understand the boundaries around your sessions and how your personal information is safeguarded.

3. Can you explain how you handle potential conflicts or challenges during therapy?

It’s important to understand how your therapist manages challenges or conflicts that may arise in the therapeutic relationship. A transparent approach to handling conflicts builds trust and reinforces the collaborative nature of the therapeutic process.

Exploring the Therapist’s Commitment to Lifelong Learning

In the field of psychotherapy, continuous learning is vital. A therapist’s commitment to lifelong learning ensures they stay current with the latest research, therapeutic techniques, and understandings of systemic issues. This ongoing education is particularly important for therapists who aim to practice in an anti-oppressive and culturally competent manner, as it reflects their dedication to evolving alongside their clients’ needs.

Consider asking these questions to explore a therapist’s commitment to lifelong learning:

1. What professional development activities do you engage in regularly?

This question helps you understand how your therapist stays updated with the latest developments in their field. A commitment to professional development is a key indicator that the therapist is dedicated to refining their skills and knowledge to better serve their clients.

2. How do you incorporate new research or therapeutic techniques into your practice?

Understanding how your therapist integrates new knowledge into their practice can help you determine whether they are committed to providing the most effective and relevant care. According to Mullan (2023), therapists who actively engage in learning are better equipped to offer therapeutic approaches that are informed by the latest insights and best practices.

3. Can you share an example of how you have adapted your practice in response to new insights or client needs?

This question allows your therapist to demonstrate their ability to evolve and adapt, showing that they are responsive to both new information and the individual needs of their clients.

Exploring Collaboration in Online Therapy

Collaboration is at the heart of a successful therapeutic relationship. It transforms therapy from a one-sided process into a dynamic partnership where both therapist and client work together toward healing and growth. In online therapy, where physical distance can sometimes feel like a barrier, fostering a sense of collaboration is even more critical. It’s important to understand how your therapist involves you in the therapeutic process and how they navigate the unique challenges that might arise during virtual sessions.

When exploring a potential therapist’s approach to collaboration, consider asking the following questions:

1. How do you create a safe and trusting environment for clients during online sessions?

In the absence of physical presence, creating a sense of safety and trust in an online setting requires intentional effort. Ask your therapist how they ensure that your virtual space feels secure and welcoming, allowing you to be open and vulnerable despite the screen between you.

2. What steps do you take to ensure that therapy is a collaborative process where my input is valued?

A collaborative approach means that your voice is central to the therapeutic process. Ask how the therapist ensures that your insights, feelings, and feedback are integrated into the sessions. This question helps you gauge whether the therapist views you as an active participant in your own healing journey, rather than a passive recipient of care.

3. How do you navigate challenges that may arise due to differences in identity or background between us?

Differences in identity, whether related to race, gender, culture, or lived experiences, can sometimes create challenges in understanding and connection. A skilled therapist will acknowledge these differences and work to bridge them in a way that respects your identity and experiences. This question can help you understand how the therapist approaches such challenges and ensures that your identity is honoured within the therapeutic space.

4. What is your approach to ensuring that therapy is not just a service but a partnership where my voice is heard and respected?

Therapy should not feel like a service provided to you but rather a partnership you are fully engaged in. Ask how the therapist ensures that your voice is consistently heard, respected, and integrated into the therapeutic process. This reflects a commitment to shared power and mutual respect.

Jennifer Mullan (2023), in Decolonizing Therapy, emphasizes the importance of therapists sharing power with their clients, particularly those from historically marginalized communities. This concept of shared power is vital in ensuring that therapy is not just something done to you, but something done with you. It means respecting your autonomy, actively involving you in every step of the therapeutic process—from setting goals to making decisions—and being open to your feedback and needs throughout the journey (Mullan, 2023).

By asking these questions, you can gauge whether your therapist is genuinely committed to a collaborative approach. A therapist who prioritizes collaboration sees you as an equal partner in the therapeutic relationship, ensuring that your insights, experiences, and needs guide the course of therapy. This not only fosters a more effective and meaningful therapeutic experience but also empowers you to take an active role in your healing and personal growth.

Considering the Therapist’s Accessibility and Availability

Accessibility and availability are practical yet crucial aspects of the therapeutic relationship. Knowing that your therapist is accessible when you need them, and that their availability aligns with your schedule, is key to maintaining a consistent and supportive therapeutic relationship.

Consider asking these questions to gauge a therapist’s accessibility and availability:

1. What are your policies on session scheduling and availability?

Understanding the therapist’s scheduling policies, including their availability for regular sessions and how they handle cancellations, can help you assess whether their availability aligns with your needs.

2. How do you handle urgent situations or crises between sessions?

It’s important to know how your therapist manages urgent situations that may arise between scheduled sessions. This question ensures that you have a clear understanding of the support available to you during critical times.

3. What are your methods for communication between sessions?

Knowing how you can communicate with your therapist outside of sessions, whether through email, phone, or a secure messaging system, is essential for maintaining a consistent and supportive therapeutic relationship.

Conclusion

Choosing to seek therapy is an act of self-compassion and remarkable courage—a recognition of your worth and a commitment to living a more fulfilled, authentic life. In a world that often demands we navigate complex challenges alone, reaching out for support is a powerful acknowledgment of your resilience and your desire to heal, grow, and thrive.

As you embark on this journey, remember that the right therapist is not just a guide, but a partner—someone who honours your autonomy, affirms your identity, and is committed to walking alongside you in a spirit of collaboration and mutual respect. By being proactive and asking the right questions, you lay the foundation for a therapeutic relationship that is grounded in transparency, lifelong learning, accessibility, and a deep commitment to anti-oppressive practice.

Together, you and your therapist can work toward greater self-awareness, emotional well-being, and a more fulfilling life. This journey may require patience, persistence, and a willingness to explore both the light and shadowed parts of yourself. But with the right support, it can lead to profound transformation—helping you reconnect with your strengths, heal from past wounds, and move toward a life that feels more true to who you are.

In the end, therapy is about more than just overcoming difficulties—it’s about creating a life that feels rich, meaningful, and aligned with your deepest values and desires. By choosing a therapist who respects and understands the unique complexities of your identity and experience, you are empowering yourself to embark on a transformative journey toward greater self-understanding and fulfillment. This is your journey, and every step you take is a testament to your courage, resilience, and commitment to living a more empowered, authentic life.

References

Mullan, J. (2023). Decolonizing Therapy: Oppression, Historical Trauma, and Politicizing Your Practice. Bookshare.

Taibbi, R. (2016). The Art of the First Session: Making Psychotherapy Count From the Start. W.W. Norton & Company.

Disclaimer: This blog offers general educational information and does not constitute professional advice or establish a therapist-client relationship. Please consult a healthcare provider for personalized guidance. Any decisions based on the content are the reader’s responsibility, and Clayre Sessoms Psychotherapy assumes no liability. All case studies are hypothetical with fictional names and do not reflect actual people. We prioritize your privacy and the confidentiality of all of our clients. We are committed to maintaining a safe, supportive space for 2SLGBTQIA+ community care.

Clayre Sessoms is a trans, queer, and neurodivergent Registered Psychotherapist (RP), Certified Sensorimotor Psychotherapist, and Board Certified Art Therapist (ATR-BC), offering online therapy for trans*, nonbinary, queer, and 2SLGBTQIA+ allied adults and teens across Canada. With a deep commitment to trauma-attuned gender-affirming care, Clayre integrates talk therapy, experiential collaboration, and creative expression to support clients to grow, heal, or navigate change. When not working with clients or supervising newly-licensed therapists, Clayre finds solace in nature, where she recharges her creativity and compassion.

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