Sitting with Discomfort: Alex’s Path to Emotional Regulation and Joy

Introduction

Many clients who come to body-centred trauma therapy at Clayre Sessoms Psychotherapy have developed foundational skills in Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). These clients often have a solid understanding of emotion regulation and thought distortions, with knowledge of how to identify cognitive distortions. Despite this, many still arrive with a significant amount of shame surrounding their emotions and an urgent need to “get rid of” their feelings. There is a common misconception that healing equates to the eradication of difficult emotions, which often leads to frustration and a sense of failure when emotions persist.

In my practice, I guide clients through the process of validating their emotions and helping them understand that healing is not about eliminating feelings but learning to be with them. This aligns with the idea of tuning into the body’s felt sense, a concept explored in mindfulness-based body-centred therapies like Sensorimotor Psychotherapy and Focusing. According to Rome (2014), this felt sense offers a way for individuals to access their inner wisdom and navigate complex emotional landscapes without rushing to “fix” or suppress emotions. This sense of presence, of sitting with emotions and discomfort, is an advanced skill that fosters long-term growth and healing (Rome, 2014).

This case study focuses on Alex, a hypothetical client, who embarked on a therapeutic journey filled with emotional dysregulation, societal pressures, and deep wounds from personal rejection. Like many individuals with marginalized identities, Alex’s emotional struggles were compounded by family rejection and societal pressure to conform to gender norms. Through a trauma-informed, body-centred approach, Alex learned to validate their emotions, reconnect with their body, and expand their capacity for both joy and discomfort. For ethical reasons, this case is fictional, but it reflects the real therapeutic principles and techniques used in my gender-affirming practice.

Alex’s Background and Emotional Landscape

Alex, a nonbinary individual, faced a complex emotional landscape shaped by both familial and societal rejection. The rejection from their family, rooted in an inability to accept their gender identity, was the first wound in what became a cycle of emotional suppression. As research has shown, gender identity rejection from family often leads to negative mental health outcomes, including emotional suppression, depression, and isolation (Linklater, 2014). The pressure to conform to heteronormative and cisgender norms compounded Alex’s internal struggle, leading to layers of internalized shame and disconnection from their authentic self.

Over time, this emotional suppression deepened Alex’s disconnection from their body and emotions. This disconnection, often described in trauma-informed practices, is a protective mechanism that prevents individuals from processing painful emotions but can lead to long-term emotional dysregulation and a fractured sense of self (Ogden et al., 2006). Alex’s sense of self-worth became increasingly tied to external validation, especially in spaces where they sought acceptance and understanding.

One such space was an online community that had previously been a vital source of support for trans and queer individuals. However, as conflicts and misunderstandings arose within this group, Alex began to feel emotionally “cut off.” Feeling unseen and misunderstood only exacerbated Alex’s isolation, leading to overwhelming feelings of anger and despair. This aligns with research on marginalized communities, where individuals experiencing identity-based rejection often face compounded emotional burdens that can lead to self-isolation and further shame (Dennis, 2022).

When Alex entered therapy at Clayre Sessoms Psychotherapy, their primary concern was stabilizing their emotional state and finding a sense of safety within their own body. They reported a persistent feeling of not being understood, both within their immediate social circle and in broader societal contexts. The emotional invisibility that Alex experienced, combined with the deep wounds of rejection, drove them to seek a therapeutic space where they could heal from the legacy of harm that had intensified their emotional responses over time.

Initially, Alex’s goal in therapy was straightforward: they wanted to continue the work that began with CBT, DBT, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) by finding new ways to regulate their emotions and break free from the overwhelming cycle of anger and isolation. However, as therapy progressed, it became clear that healing for Alex would not only involve addressing surface-level emotional concerns but also require delving into the deeper layers of rejection, societal pressure, and internalized shame. These emotional layers, often stored in the body as tension and discomfort, are common in individuals who have experienced long-term trauma and rejection (Ogden & Fisher, 2015). Addressing these deeper wounds became central to Alex’s journey toward emotional regulation and self-acceptance.

The Importance of This Case Study for Marginalized Clients and Therapists

This case study is particularly relevant to therapists and mental health professionals working with clients from marginalized communities, especially those navigating emotional dysregulation caused by familial rejection and societal pressures. Alex’s journey exemplifies how trauma-informed care and body-centred therapy can support individuals from such communities in healing from deep-rooted emotional pain. It also provides insights into the therapeutic process for clients facing the compounded effects of marginalization.

Many individuals, like Alex, seek therapy after enduring environments where their identities are met with resistance, hostility, or indifference. Research has shown that familial rejection, particularly of gender-diverse individuals, often leads to feelings of shame, isolation, and emotional dysregulation (Linklater, 2014). In Alex’s case, the rejection they experienced amplified these feelings, making emotional regulation more difficult. Their experience underscores the critical importance of validating the lived experiences of marginalized clients. Emotional responses in such cases should be seen not as signs of weakness but as valid reactions to harm and rejection.

This case study also highlights the need to address both the emotional and physiological aspects of trauma. As noted in liberation-based healing approaches, past trauma is often stored in the body, making emotional regulation impossible without addressing the body’s responses to that trauma (Almeida, 2019). Alex’s ability to reconnect with their body, which enabled them to experience moments of gender euphoria, demonstrates how powerful body-centred therapeutic approaches can be in fostering healing and restoring a sense of agency. Such approaches, including Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, work on both the emotional and somatic levels, creating a fuller, deeper healing experience (Ogden et al., 2006).

Furthermore, Alex’s case highlights how therapy can transform not just emotional regulation, but also a client’s sense of autonomy. Moving from feeling emotionally “cut off” to developing self-trust and body connection is a powerful journey. This process empowers clients to regain control over their emotional responses, even when facing ongoing societal and interpersonal challenges. Trauma-informed care offers a structured way to support this transition, using methods that combine body awareness, emotional processing, and self-compassion (Dennis, 2022).

For therapists, Alex’s case also offers key insights into supporting clients who arrive with a deep sense of emotional urgency and shame. Clients often feel pressured to rid themselves of uncomfortable emotions, believing that healing equates to erasing these feelings. However, this case illustrates that healing involves learning to sit with emotions, particularly discomfort, and building resilience through mindful presence. This aligns with foundational principles from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), which teaches clients to regulate emotions and improve relationships by integrating mindfulness with emotional acceptance (Rome, 2014). As therapists, guiding clients through this process—teaching them that growth comes not from eliminating emotions but from embracing them—becomes central to the healing process.

Through the work at Clayre Sessoms Psychotherapy, we aim to educate both therapists and clients on the value of these approaches. By creating a safe, inclusive space for clients to explore their emotional experiences, we offer a path toward emotional regulation, personal agency, and long-term healing, particularly for those facing the unique challenges of identity-based rejection and societal marginalization.

Therapeutic Process and Key Findings

Phase 1: Validating Emotions

The first and most crucial step in Alex’s therapeutic journey was validating their emotions, a core principle of trauma-informed care. For years, Alex had been told that their emotions—particularly their anger—were excessive or inappropriate. This invalidation compounded their feelings of shame and disconnected them from their emotional experiences. Using mindfulness-based techniques and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, we began working on normalizing Alex’s emotional responses. Grounding techniques are foundational in helping clients stay present and connected to their bodies during emotional overwhelm, which is essential for emotional regulation and healing (Ogden et al., 2006).

In this phase, Alex learned that their emotions were valid responses to the immense rejection they had faced, not problems to be fixed or dismissed. Grounding techniques, such as noticing sensations in their feet or using mindful breathing, were introduced to help Alex stay connected to their body during moments of discomfort. By employing the principles of somatic awareness, Alex began cultivating presence, which helped them avoid dissociation and start processing their emotions with more acceptance (Ogden & Fisher, 2015).

Phase 2: Sitting with Discomfort

Once Alex could validate their emotions, we moved into the second phase of their therapeutic process: learning to sit with discomfort. Alex had spent years avoiding emotions like anger and frustration due to the fear of being perceived as “too much.” During this phase, we used Sensorimotor Psychotherapy’s practice of directed mindfulness, encouraging Alex to focus awareness on specific sensations that indicated discomfort in the body. This technique allowed Alex to stay present with their discomfort, rather than escape from it (Ogden, 2021).

Resourcing, a key element of Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, involves developing internal somatic resources, such as mindful breathing or grounding. These resources helped Alex anchor themselves in the present and manage their emotional responses more effectively (Ogden et al., 2006). As Alex practiced these techniques, they became more aware of their internal landscape—sensations, thoughts, and emotions. Over time, Alex developed a new relationship with their emotions, no longer viewing them as threats, but as important signals that could be understood and processed.

Phase 3: Unpacking the Legacy of Harm

With increased emotional resilience, Alex was ready to explore the deeper roots of their emotional dysregulation. In this phase, we focused on unpacking the legacy of harm caused by family rejection and societal pressures. Gender-based rejection had left Alex with internalized shame and heightened emotional responses to perceived rejection, which are common patterns in those experiencing long-term marginalization (Linklater, 2014).

We explored how these rejections were stored physically in Alex’s body, manifesting as tension, tightness, or numbness (Ogden & Fisher, 2015). Alex identified areas in their body where these emotions were held, and through mindful body awareness exercises, we worked to release the tension associated with these painful memories. This process helped Alex understand that their emotional intensity was not a personal failing, but a valid reaction to years of trauma and invalidation.

Phase 4: Building Emotional Regulation and Body Trust

One of the most transformative aspects of Alex’s healing journey was learning to trust their body again. After years of dissociation and emotional suppression, Alex had become disconnected from their body. Through Sensorimotor Psychotherapy’s body-centred therapeutic approaches, we focused on restoring a sense of safety and connection within Alex’s body (Ogden et al., 2006).

Reconnecting with their body allowed Alex to experience moments of gender euphoria—times when they felt joy and alignment with their gender identity. Fostering positive bodily experiences is critical to counterbalancing the impact of trauma, as these moments of euphoria helped Alex experience safety and joy in their body (Ogden et al., 2006). This reconnection was essential in restoring Alex’s emotional regulation and sense of agency, allowing them to approach their emotions from a place of trust rather than fear.

Phase 5: Expanding the Window of Capacity

As therapy progressed, Alex’s emotional resilience grew, and their “window of tolerance” expanded. The window of tolerance refers to a client’s ability to remain regulated and present during emotionally intense experiences without dissociating or becoming overwhelmed (Ogden & Fisher, 2015). Through continued body-centered techniques, Alex increased their capacity to hold both emotional highs and lows, enabling them to navigate life’s challenges with greater ease.

Alex reported feeling more grounded and able to experience both joy and discomfort without becoming overwhelmed. This phase marked a significant shift in Alex’s ability to maintain autonomy and agency, no longer feeling controlled by their emotional responses. By expanding their window of tolerance, Alex developed a greater sense of emotional stability, allowing them to move through both difficult and pleasurable emotions with balance and self-trust.

Reflections and Broader Implications

Alex’s journey highlights the complexity of working with clients who have experienced marginalization and identity-based rejection. As mental health professionals, it is critical to recognize the deep emotional wounds that such rejection can cause. Trauma-informed and body-centred approaches, such as Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, offer a powerful framework for helping clients like Alex reclaim a sense of self-worth and emotional regulation.

One of the most important aspects of Alex’s healing process was the integration of body-centered techniques. By addressing the body’s response to trauma, Alex was able to reconnect with feelings of gender euphoria, balance discomfort and joy, and experience a newfound sense of emotional regulation. This reflects broader research on the importance of incorporating somatic practices in trauma therapy, as trauma is often stored in the body and cannot be fully addressed through talk therapy alone (Ogden et al., 2006). This reinforces the need for therapists to be well-versed in both emotional and somatic interventions, especially when working with clients from marginalized groups.

In addition, Alex’s case sheds light on the importance of providing a safe therapeutic space for clients to explore their emotions without judgment. For marginalized individuals, the societal pressures to conform can compound feelings of isolation and shame, making it difficult for them to fully express their emotional experiences. Creating a therapeutic environment where clients feel seen and validated is crucial to fostering healing and growth (Almeida, 2019). By offering this space, therapists can help clients not only regulate their emotions but also reclaim a sense of agency and autonomy.

Alex’s progress, particularly their expanding window of tolerance and ability to experience both discomfort and joy, serves as a reminder that healing is not about erasing emotions but learning to live with them. This insight aligns with the principles of Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), which emphasizes the importance of emotional acceptance in conjunction with emotional regulation (Rome, 2014). For therapists, this case study underscores the value of teaching clients to embrace their emotions as part of their healing journey, rather than viewing them as obstacles to overcome.

Ultimately, Alex’s story serves as an example of how trauma-informed, body-centred therapy can provide the tools necessary for individuals to move beyond emotional reactivity and reclaim their sense of self. This case also calls on therapists to continue educating themselves on how to address the unique challenges faced by marginalized communities, ensuring that their practices remain inclusive, compassionate, and effective.

Practical Applications for Therapy

Alex’s therapeutic journey offers several valuable insights and practical applications that can be adapted for other clients, particularly those from marginalized communities who have experienced rejection, trauma, or identity-based harm. The integration of trauma-informed and body-centered techniques was critical in helping Alex move toward emotional regulation and reclaim their sense of agency. Below are key therapeutic interventions and strategies drawn from Alex’s experience that can be applied in a variety of therapeutic contexts.

Grounding Techniques for Emotional Regulation

Grounding exercises were central to Alex’s ability to stay present and connected during moments of emotional overwhelm. Grounding practices, such as focusing on the sensation of feet on the floor or mindful breathing, are foundational in Sensorimotor Psychotherapy. These techniques help clients regulate their emotions by bringing their attention to the present moment, reducing the likelihood of dissociation or emotional flooding (Ogden et al., 2006). Therapists can use these grounding techniques early in the therapeutic process to help clients build emotional resilience.

Developing Somatic Resources

One of the most effective interventions for Alex was the development of somatic resources. These resources—such as mindful breathing, self-soothing touch, and body awareness exercises—allowed Alex to anchor themselves during moments of discomfort. According to Sensorimotor Psychotherapy principles, these somatic resources can help clients manage their emotional responses more effectively by providing them with physical tools to regulate their nervous system (Ogden & Fisher, 2015). Therapists can work with clients to identify and practice these resources, which can be tailored to each individual’s specific needs.

Exploring the Body’s Role in Trauma

Alex’s case highlights the importance of addressing how trauma is stored in the body. By exploring the physical sensations associated with their emotional experiences—such as tension, tightness, or numbness—Alex was able to release some of the trauma that had been stored in their body. This process, known as “tracking” in Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, is critical in helping clients process trauma on a somatic level (Ogden et al., 2006). Therapists can incorporate body awareness exercises and somatic tracking into their sessions to help clients release stored trauma and reconnect with their bodies.

Balancing Discomfort with Positive Experiences

A key part of Alex’s healing journey was balancing moments of discomfort with positive experiences in their body, such as gender euphoria. Fostering positive bodily experiences, whether through self-compassion, sensory activities, or movement, can help counterbalance the effects of trauma (Ogden et al., 2006). Therapists can encourage clients to explore and cultivate positive bodily experiences, which can play a vital role in restoring a sense of safety and joy.

Expanding the Window of Tolerance

A significant outcome for Alex was their expanded window of tolerance—the ability to hold both emotional highs and lows without losing their sense of self. In Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, this concept refers to a client’s capacity to remain regulated during intense emotional experiences. Therapists can work with clients to gradually expand their window of tolerance by integrating mindfulness, grounding, and body-centered practices. This allows clients to manage their emotions more effectively and build resilience (Ogden & Fisher, 2015).

By incorporating these practical strategies, therapists can help their clients develop emotional regulation, reconnect with their bodies, and heal from trauma. Alex’s case demonstrates that these interventions are particularly effective for individuals who have experienced identity-based rejection, offering a pathway toward deeper healing and personal empowerment.

Conclusion: Presenting the Results

By the end of of two years, Alex demonstrated significant improvements in their emotional regulation, body awareness, and sense of personal agency. Through the trauma-informed, body-centered approach used in their therapy, Alex experienced meaningful changes in several key areas:

1. Improved Emotional Regulation: Alex reported a noticeable decrease in emotional avoidance and reactivity, particularly when confronted with triggering situations related to gender identity and societal conflict. This improvement was a direct result of learning to validate their emotions and sit with discomfort through mindfulness and body-centered practices. Alex no longer felt the urgency to “get rid of” their emotions but instead learned to accept and work through them.

2. Increased Capacity for Discomfort and Joy: One of the most transformative outcomes for Alex was their ability to sit with both discomfort and joy, expanding their emotional window of tolerance. This increased capacity allowed Alex to experience a fuller range of emotions without feeling overwhelmed or dissociated. Alex’s ability to hold space for difficult emotions, alongside moments of joy, became a cornerstone of their healing process, illustrating the profound impact of cultivating presence and mindfulness.

3. Body Trust and Gender Euphoria: Reconnecting with their body was a critical aspect of Alex’s therapeutic journey. Through Sensorimotor Psychotherapy and other body-centered techniques, Alex developed a deeper sense of trust in their body’s ability to hold emotions, both positive and negative. This reconnection allowed Alex to experience moments of gender euphoria—experiences of joy and alignment with their gender identity that became key milestones in their healing process. These moments of euphoria were vital in balancing the emotional discomfort they had long carried, providing a sense of grounding and joy in their identity.

4. Restored Autonomy and Agency: As Alex grew more grounded in their body and emotions, they experienced a profound shift in their sense of autonomy and agency. No longer feeling at the mercy of their emotional responses, Alex gained the confidence to make decisions from a place of self-trust and empowerment. This newfound agency was crucial for Alex as they navigated societal and interpersonal challenges, empowering them to reclaim control over their emotional landscape and life choices.

The Profound Impact of Body-Centred, Trauma-Informed Therapy

Alex’s case highlights the deep, lasting benefits of trauma-informed, body-centred therapy for individuals dealing with emotional dysregulation rooted in rejection and identity-based harm. Through the safe, supportive space provided by therapy, Alex was able to explore the complexity of their emotional experiences, reconnect with their body, and reclaim their sense of agency. Their journey serves as a testament to the importance of creating therapeutic environments that empower clients to navigate their emotions, develop resilience, and find healing.

The work done at Clayre Sessoms Psychotherapy emphasizes the value of providing clients with the tools to build emotional regulation and body trust, allowing them to experience a fuller, more authentic sense of self. Alex’s experience is a powerful reminder that healing comes not from erasing emotions but from learning to live in harmony with them, embracing both discomfort and joy as essential parts of the human experience.

Let’s Continue the Conversation

If Alex’s story resonates with you or someone you know, we invite you to connect with Clayre Sessoms Psychotherapy for individual therapy, peer consultation, or further discussion on trauma-informed and body-centered approaches to healing. Whether you’re a therapist seeking guidance or someone in need of support, Clayre Sessoms Psychotherapy offers a safe and empowering space to explore these themes further.

Feel free to book a consultation today, and be sure to subscribe to our blog for more insights on emotional regulation, identity exploration, and healing practices.

References

Almeida, R. V. (2019). Liberation based healing practices. Institute for Family Services.

Dennis, E. (2022). Queer body power: Finding your body confidence, challenging fatphobia, and thriving in your own skin. Watkins Publishing.

Linklater, R. (2014). Decolonizing trauma work: Indigenous stories and strategies. Fernwood Publishing.

Ogden, P., Minton, K., & Pain, C. (2006). Trauma and the body: A sensorimotor approach to psychotherapy. W.W. Norton & Company.

Ogden, P., & Fisher, J. (2015). Sensorimotor Psychotherapy: Interventions for trauma and attachment. W.W. Norton & Company.

Ogden, P. (2021). The pocket guide to Sensorimotor Psychotherapy in context. W.W. Norton & Company.

Rome, D. I. (2014). Your body knows the answer: Using your felt sense to solve problems, effect change, and liberate creativity. Shambhala Publications.