Book Review: Making Room by Carl Siciliano

Introduction

Making Room by Carl Siciliano is more than just a book; it is a heartfelt invitation to see and feel the lives of LGBTQ youth who have been cast aside by a society that should be protecting them. As a seasoned advocate and the founder of the Ali Forney Center—the largest shelter for unhoused LGBTQ youth in the United States—Siciliano writes with both urgency and tenderness, compelling readers to recognize the inherent dignity and humanity of queer youth navigating the harsh realities of homelessness. His memoir is an intimate exploration of love, loss, faith, and radical advocacy, blending personal storytelling with a broader critique of the systemic forces that continue to marginalize LGBTQ youth.

For therapists like myself, who specialize in working with Two Spirit, trans, nonbinary, and queer older teens and adults, Making Room offers a profound intersection with our therapeutic work. Siciliano’s narrative goes beyond the statistics and policy discussions often found in texts about homelessness; it delves deeply into the emotional, psychological, and spiritual dimensions of what it means to care for those who have been rejected by their families and by society. This review seeks to highlight the book’s insights and its relevance to those who practice or seek gender-affirming, trauma-informed care, and for anyone moved by the power of community and the human spirit to heal.

Overview of the Book

Making Room unfolds in three compelling parts, each one peeling back the layers of Carl Siciliano’s journey from a hopeful young Catholic Worker to a steadfast advocate for some of society’s most vulnerable members. The narrative is anchored by the tragic and untimely death of Ali Forney, a Black nonbinary teenager whose spirit and resilience shine through the pages as a powerful force. Ali’s murder in 1997 becomes not only a moment of profound personal loss for Siciliano but also a turning point that ignites his relentless commitment to providing safe and affirming spaces for queer youth—a commitment that would lead to the creation of the Ali Forney Center, now the largest organization in the U.S. dedicated to housing LGBTQ youth.

What makes Making Room so poignant is the way Siciliano tells the stories of the youth he has served—not as mere statistics in an overwhelming crisis but as vibrant, complex individuals with dreams, fears, and a fierce determination to survive. He draws readers into the daily realities of these young people, who, despite facing the profound wounds of family rejection due to homophobia and transphobia, still find ways to hold on to hope and build chosen families in the streets, shelters, and drop-in centres of New York City. Siciliano does not shy away from the brutality they face—from violence in the shelters to harassment by police and the perils of survival sex work. Yet, his storytelling is filled with deep empathy, respect, and a fierce love for these youths, portraying them as heroes of their own stories, not victims.

Making Room is more than a memoir; it is a testament to the power of love, community, and radical acceptance. Siciliano’s reflections challenge us to reimagine what advocacy looks like when it is grounded in both systemic change and the deep, personal work of making room in our hearts and our communities for those whom society has cast aside. For therapists, activists, and anyone committed to creating safer spaces for marginalized people, “Making Room” is a guide, a call to action, and a reminder of the transformative power of showing up, again and again, for those who need us the most.

Reflections and Lessons from Carl Siciliano’s Making Room

The memoir offers profound reflections on advocacy, compassion, and the unwavering commitment needed to support unhoused LGBTQ youth. Through his experiences, Siciliano shares hard-earned lessons that speak directly to the heart of healing and the transformative power of human connection.

•The Radical Power of Compassion and Community: At its core, Making Room is a story of what it means to show up for people in their darkest moments. Siciliano’s narrative is a call to embrace radical compassion—the kind that doesn’t just acknowledge the suffering of LGBTQ youth but actively works to alleviate it. He describes the Ali Forney Center not just as a shelter but as a sanctuary where queer youth, who have been cast out by their families and society, can find dignity, safety, and a sense of belonging. For Siciliano, community is not just a backdrop; it is the lifeline that offers these young people a chance to rebuild and reclaim their lives. He challenges us to think about the kind of communities we are creating and how we can make more room for those who need it most.

•The Urgency of Intersectionality in LGBTQ Advocacy: Siciliano’s storytelling does not shy away from the complexities of identity that impact the lives of unhoused LGBTQ youth. He weaves in the intersections of race, class, gender identity, and systemic injustice, highlighting how these factors often exacerbate the challenges faced by queer youth of colour. Ali Forney’s story, like that of many others featured in the book, unfolds against a backdrop of multiple layers of oppression—from the violent streets and underfunded shelters of New York City to the racially biased policing practices and the devastating impact of the AIDS epidemic. Siciliano’s narrative invites us to hold these intersecting truths with care and to recognize that any effort to support queer youth must address the totality of their experiences, not just their sexuality or gender identity in isolation.

•Embracing Trauma-Informed Care with Compassion and Commitment: One of the most significant contributions of Making Room is its deep understanding of trauma and its effects on the human spirit. Siciliano’s approach is inherently trauma-informed, acknowledging the compounded experiences of rejection, violence, and survival that these youths navigate daily. He emphasizes that true advocacy—and indeed, true therapy—requires us to listen deeply, without judgment, to the stories of those we aim to support. For therapists working with Two Spirit, trans, nonbinary, and queer clients, this means creating a therapeutic space that honours these lived experiences with empathy, patience, and a commitment to healing. The memoir gently reminds us that healing is not a one-size-fits-all journey; it is a process that must be adapted to the unique needs and histories of each person.

Rather than offering a straightforward checklist of advocacy steps, Making Room presents a collection of heartfelt reflections and lived experiences that illustrate the complexity of supporting unhoused LGBTQ youth. Siciliano’s narrative blends heart and strategy, love and action, providing a valuable guide for anyone who is dedicated to creating a world where all young people have the opportunity to thrive.

What Makes Making Room Exceptional

Making Room distinguishes itself as a deeply personal and emotionally resonant memoir that offers readers an intimate look into the lives of LGBTQ youth and the relentless advocacy needed to support them. Carl Siciliano’s perspective is one of the book’s greatest strengths; he intertwines his own spiritual journey with his decades of front-line work, providing a narrative that is both reflective and urgent. Unlike many advocacy books that focus solely on policy or statistics, Siciliano’s memoir navigates the intersection of faith, compassion, and social justice, inviting readers to explore how these elements can coexist and strengthen one another in the fight for LGBTQ rights.

What sets Making Room apart is Siciliano’s willingness to confront the spiritual dimensions of advocacy head-on. His reflections on faith are not superficial add-ons; they are integral to the narrative, offering a rare exploration of how personal beliefs can fuel a lifetime of service and activism. For many LGBTQ individuals who have been alienated by religious institutions, Siciliano’s story presents a powerful counter-narrative. He shows that faith can be a source of radical love and acceptance, rather than rejection. This is particularly significant for therapists and others working in social services, who may encounter clients grappling with the complexities of faith and identity.

Moreover, Siciliano’s writing is characterized by a profound empathy and respect for the youth whose stories he shares. His narrative approach goes beyond recounting events; it immerses the reader in the raw realities of being young, queer, and unhoused in America. This immersion is achieved through vivid storytelling, where moments of heartbreak, courage, and resilience are rendered with such depth that they remain with the reader long after the book is closed. Through his use of direct quotes, personal anecdotes, and poignant reflections, Siciliano ensures that the voices of LGBTQ youth are not just heard but felt.

When compared to other works on LGBTQ youth homelessness, such as Youth Homelessness in Canada by Stephen Gaetz, Making Room offers a refreshing departure from academic or purely policy-focused texts. While Gaetz provides an important, research-based overview of homelessness among young people in Canada, Siciliano’s book brings the topic to life with a narrative-driven approach. His stories are not abstract; they are immediate and personal, highlighting the critical role of safe, affirming spaces in a way that deeply resonates with both practitioners and allies. This narrative style makes Making Room particularly valuable for therapists and social workers who wish to understand not just the systemic factors contributing to LGBTQ youth homelessness but also the lived experiences of those affected by it.

Furthermore, Siciliano’s memoir stands out for its call to action. It is not merely a reflection on past experiences but a rallying cry for readers to participate in creating systemic change. Whether through policy advocacy, community organizing, or direct support, Making Room challenges readers to think critically about the structures that perpetuate inequality and to envision new ways of making space for those who are often pushed to the margins. In this way, Siciliano’s work serves as both an educational tool and a source of inspiration, urging us to engage more deeply with the issues at hand.

For those in the therapeutic field, Making Room offers more than just insight—it provides a framework for understanding trauma, resilience, and the transformative potential of unconditional acceptance. It challenges therapists to consider how they can create safe, affirming environments for their clients, particularly those navigating the intersections of race, class, gender, and sexual identity. The book is not just about advocacy; it is about the everyday acts of making room for others, of holding space for their stories and their healing.

By blending personal narrative, spiritual reflection, and a profound commitment to justice, Making Room carves out a unique place among books on LGBTQ advocacy and youth homelessness. It is a testament to the power of storytelling to inspire empathy, provoke thought, and, ultimately, drive meaningful change.

Conclusion

Making Room by Carl Siciliano is more than just a book—it is a deeply moving and vital call to action for therapists, clients, and anyone who cares about LGBTQ rights and advocacy. Siciliano’s journey, intricately woven with the stories of unhoused queer youth, offers a powerful reminder of the transformative power of community, love, and radical compassion. His narrative challenges us to look beyond conventional approaches to social justice and to consider how we can each play a role in building safer, more affirming spaces for LGBTQ youth. For therapists, the book provides invaluable insights into how to cultivate trauma-informed, gender-affirming practices that honour the unique experiences and resilience of LGBTQ clients.

If these themes resonate with you or if you are seeking further resources to support your own advocacy or therapeutic work, we encourage you to borrow Making Room from your local library or purchase it from a queer-inclusive bookstore. Supporting local resources like Cross and Crows Books in Vancouver, Glad Day Bookshop in Toronto, or Venus Envy in Halifax not only helps keep these vital community hubs alive but also fosters a more diverse and inclusive literary landscape.

We also invite you to connect with our practice if you are looking for a gender-affirming therapist or seeking guidance on how to support LGBTQ individuals in your own community. You can schedule a free 15-minute consultation with Audrey Wolfe, RCC (she/they), a trans and queer therapist dedicated to creating inclusive and compassionate therapeutic spaces, or join the waitlist to work with me, Clayre Sessoms, RP, RCT, RCC, RCAT, CCC, ATR-BC (she/they), to explore ways to deepen your engagement with these essential topics.

Finally, we hope you’ll stay engaged with our community. Follow our blog for more insightful book reviews, therapeutic resources, and discussions on how we can all contribute to a world where every person—regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation—feels seen, valued, and supported.

References

Gaetz, S. (2014). Youth homelessness in Canada: Implications for policy and practice. Canadian Homelessness Research Network Press.

Siciliano, C. (2024). Making room: Three decades of fighting for beds, belonging, and a safe place for LGBTQ youth. Convergent Books.