Introduction
Belonging is a fundamental aspect of human life, intricately tied to our identity, emotional well-being, and sense of self. It shapes how we view ourselves in relation to others and influences the quality of our relationships and communities. For many, belonging may be found in family, social circles, or cultural groups. However, for queer individuals, the idea of belonging can often feel elusive, slipping through the cracks of societal structures that frequently deny, other, or invalidate their very existence.
The marginalization of queer identities is not a modern phenomenon; it has been entrenched in historical and cultural systems that uphold heteronormativity, patriarchy, and colonialism. Queer individuals have long been excluded from conventional narratives of family and community, often relegated to the margins of society where their identities are either suppressed or erased. As Valerie Korinek notes in Prairie Fairies, “Far from the stereotype of the isolated, insular Canadian prairies of small towns and farming communities, queer individuals found ways to carve out spaces of their own, resisting invisibility and forming kinship networks that fostered activism, solidarity, and social belonging” (Korinek, 2018, p. 10). These spaces, despite societal isolation, became vital for queer individuals in regions like the Canadian prairies, offering a place where their identities could flourish.
Belonging, however, is not just about inclusion within existing structures—it is about radically creating new spaces where queer identities are not only accepted but celebrated. Queer belonging transcends traditional notions of family and community. It is found in chosen families, in friendships forged through shared struggles, and in solidarity rooted in the collective identity shaped by resistance to oppression. As Nadia Ellis writes in Territories of the Soul, “Queerness is that thing that lets us feel that this world is not enough” (Ellis, 2015, p. 1). For queer individuals, belonging is not simply about fitting into a world that often marginalizes them—it is about imagining and constructing new, affirming worlds where they can thrive, where their identities are seen as integral to the richness of human diversity.
This blog post will explore the idea of queer belonging through the lens of queer theory, kinship studies, and historical contexts, examining how belonging is constructed, why it matters for healing, and how it can be supported both within communities and in therapeutic spaces.
Creating Space: How Queer Belonging Defies Oppression and Builds Community
Queer belonging is deeply intertwined with both political activism and personal identity formation. Historically, it has been shaped by collective efforts to resist marginalization and reclaim identities that society has often dismissed or vilified. As Neal Carnes (2019) notes in Queer Community, “queer spaces and identities have continually evolved in response to external oppression and the internal challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ movement” (Carnes, 2019, p. 34). Queer belonging, therefore, is not just about shared identities but about resisting heteronormative pressures and celebrating the fluidity that exists in both intimate relationships and self-expression.
This fluidity is reflected in the history of queer communities in the Canadian prairies, as highlighted by Valerie Korinek (2018) in Prairie Fairies. These communities, particularly in cities like Winnipeg, Saskatoon, and Calgary, defied societal expectations of isolation and invisibility. Rather than succumbing to marginalization, queer individuals created spaces for organizing, socializing, and politicizing. These spaces, often built from shared experiences of rejection, fostered resilience and solidarity, allowing queer people to find belonging amidst the societal forces that sought to erase them. Korinek writes, “Far from being invisible, queer individuals in the Canadian prairies actively created vibrant communities, offering an alternative to the dominant narratives of rural isolation” (Korinek, 2018, p. 42). In these prairie regions, queer belonging emerged not only as a necessity for survival but also as a form of political resistance and community-building.
Nadia Ellis (2015), in Territories of the Soul, expands on the idea of belonging by introducing the concept of “queered belonging,” which transcends boundaries of race, geography, and sexuality. Ellis argues that queerness creates new possibilities for community, where the limitations of traditional family and nationhood fall away, allowing queer individuals to build solidarity across multiple forms of difference. This queered belonging, Ellis suggests, is both a critique of the exclusionary frameworks of identity and a celebration of the ways in which queer communities reimagine connection and kinship. By forging chosen families and creating communities that honor both the uniqueness and fluidity of queer identities, queer individuals can build spaces where their existence is not just tolerated but affirmed.
In this way, queer belonging is both an act of survival and an act of imagination. It allows marginalized individuals to resist societal forces that seek to define and limit their identities, while also offering them the space to craft new, affirming relationships and communities. Whether in prairie towns or diaspora settings, queer belonging is about the creation of new worlds, ones where all individuals, regardless of their identities, can find their place and flourish.
Key Concepts Covered: Kinship, Community, and Queer Theory
Queer kinship plays a crucial role in shaping a sense of belonging for many queer individuals. Unlike traditional kinship structures based on biological or legal family ties, queer kinship transcends these limitations, offering new and radical possibilities for connection. Judith Butler (2002) underscores the importance of chosen families in queer life, suggesting that these networks provide queer individuals with emotional support, stability, and liberation from exclusionary societal frameworks. Chosen families, forged through shared experiences of marginalization and mutual care, become the lifeblood of queer communities (Butler, 2002). These kinship structures are vital not only for emotional survival but also for the empowerment of queer individuals, who can find in them a sense of belonging and resilience.
The historical development of queer kinship networks, as traced by Korinek (2018) in Prairie Fairies, demonstrates how queer individuals formed their own families of solidarity and resistance, especially in areas like the Canadian prairies. These chosen families were often created in response to the isolation and rejection faced by queer individuals in traditional heteronormative family structures. Korinek highlights how these kinship networks offered a sense of belonging and political empowerment, allowing queer communities to thrive despite social pressures to conform (Korinek, 2018). In these communities, queer individuals could defy societal expectations and build relationships based on mutual care and shared identity, rather than biological ties.
Similarly, Ellis (2015) expands on the concept of queer kinship in the context of the Black diaspora, arguing that “queer kinship allows for the creation of territories of the soul” that are not bound by conventional markers such as race, nationality, or sexual orientation (Ellis, 2015, p. 11). These spaces offer a form of belonging that honors the complex, intersecting identities of queer individuals, particularly those of colour. For individuals navigating both racial and queer identities, chosen families and queer kinship networks provide a means of belonging that challenges the rigid boundaries often imposed by mainstream society. In these “territories of the soul,” queer individuals are free to reimagine kinship, community, and identity in ways that celebrate both uniqueness and fluidity.
These kinship networks, whether in prairie cities or diaspora settings, highlight the transformative power of queer theory, which redefines belonging not as something inherited or ascribed through traditional family ties, but as something intentionally created through shared experience, resistance, and care. These chosen families and communities exemplify how belonging can be re-envisioned to accommodate the full spectrum of queer identity, particularly in spaces where societal structures may otherwise exclude or marginalize them.
Cultivating Belonging: Bridging Personal Healing and Community Connection
While external queer communities provide vital sources of belonging, the journey toward reclaiming a sense of connection often begins within. For many queer individuals, experiences of trauma—whether through societal rejection, familial estrangement, or internalized oppression—create barriers to belonging, both within themselves and their external communities. In therapeutic settings, the work of fostering belonging often starts by helping clients reconnect with their bodies and identities, especially after those connections have been disrupted by trauma.
Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, which integrates body awareness with emotional and cognitive processing, plays a crucial role in this healing process. For queer clients who have experienced trauma, reconnecting with their bodies can help them regain a sense of agency and belonging within themselves. Trauma often leads to disconnection from the body, particularly for queer individuals who have experienced their identities being invalidated or oppressed. By focusing on body-centered healing, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy allows clients to reestablish a relationship with their bodies, helping them reclaim a sense of safety and autonomy. This internal healing becomes the foundation upon which clients can rebuild a sense of belonging in their wider communities, engaging from a place of empowerment and authenticity.
Art therapy also serves as a powerful tool for cultivating belonging. Creative expression provides an outlet for clients to explore and process complex emotions tied to their queer identities—emotions that may be difficult to articulate in traditional talk therapy. Through the creation of art, clients can reclaim agency over their narratives, expressing aspects of their identity that may have been suppressed or denied by others. Art therapy helps clients process trauma while also fostering a sense of self-expression and self-acceptance, which is essential for building a solid internal sense of belonging.
As clients reconnect with their internal sense of belonging through these therapeutic modalities, they are better equipped to engage with external queer communities that celebrate their full selves. Internal healing allows for a more profound engagement with chosen families, queer kinship networks, and other forms of community connection that provide external sources of support and solidarity.
As Ellis (2015) notes, “Belonging begins within—by reclaiming the territories of the soul that societal rejection has sought to invalidate. Only then can we expand that belonging outward, to the communities and worlds we seek to build” (Ellis, 2015, p. 27). In this way, therapy becomes a space where internal healing and community connection intersect. Clients are not only given the tools to process past wounds but are also empowered to engage with their communities in ways that feel authentic and affirming. By bridging the gap between personal healing and external connection, therapists help clients reclaim their sense of belonging on both individual and collective levels.
Cultivating Healing Spaces: Fostering Belonging and Empowerment in Queer Therapy
In therapeutic practice, the concept of queer belonging is foundational to healing and empowerment. Many queer clients enter therapy carrying experiences of isolation, rejection, and trauma that stem from their identities being marginalized or invalidated by the broader societal structures around them. These experiences, compounded over time, can lead to deep feelings of disconnection—from oneself, one’s body, and the external communities in which one longs to belong. For queer individuals, healing is often not only about addressing personal pain but also about finding a way to reclaim and rebuild a sense of belonging within themselves and their communities.
Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, a body-centered approach that integrates emotional and cognitive processing, plays an especially important role for queer clients. Trauma often disconnects individuals from their own bodies, making it difficult to engage with oneself and the world in an authentic way. For queer individuals, this can be particularly challenging, as trauma related to identity—such as body dysphoria, internalized homophobia or transphobia, and the erasure of queer identities—can deeply affect the body-mind connection. Sensorimotor Psychotherapy offers clients the opportunity to reconnect with their bodies in a safe and supportive environment, helping them reclaim a sense of agency and bodily autonomy.
As Korinek (2018) demonstrates in Prairie Fairies, queer belonging is often born from shared resistance to societal norms. In therapy, reclaiming the body becomes an act of resistance against the forces that have sought to deny queer individuals their right to exist authentically. By reconnecting with the body, clients can regain a sense of self that has been compromised by trauma and societal rejection. This process is not just about healing from past pain but about building a sense of internal belonging that will empower clients to engage with external communities from a place of confidence and strength.
Art therapy also plays a powerful role in fostering queer belonging in therapy. Through creative expression, clients can explore and process complex emotions related to their identities and experiences. Art therapy allows clients to tell their stories visually, bypassing the limits of verbal expression, and offers a way to reclaim their narratives. For queer clients, many of whom have been silenced or forced to hide their identities, creative expression can be an empowering way to reclaim agency and pride in their identity.
By helping queer clients build an internal sense of belonging—whether through Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, art therapy, or other modalities—therapists empower them to reconnect with the external communities that have supported their resilience. This healing process extends beyond the individual, allowing clients to find their place within broader queer networks of support and solidarity. As Korinek (2018) emphasizes, queer communities have long been sites of resistance and resilience, and by reconnecting to those communities, queer individuals can continue the legacy of survival and empowerment.
Practical Pathways to Belonging: Applications for Therapists and Clients
For therapists working with queer clients, fostering a sense of belonging is not just a therapeutic goal—it is a transformative practice that empowers clients to reclaim their identities and connect meaningfully with others. Belonging, in this sense, is not just about acceptance but about creating spaces where clients are celebrated, heard, and understood in their full complexity. This requires a nuanced, intersectional approach to therapy, one that honours the intersecting experiences of marginalization queer individuals face due to race, class, gender, or other factors.
Therapists can cultivate these spaces by employing therapeutic modalities that resonate with the unique needs of queer clients. Art therapy and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, for instance, offer clients ways to engage with their emotions and identities in ways that traditional talk therapy may not. These creative and body-centered approaches help queer individuals express themselves in ways that feel authentic and safe, especially for those whose traumas may be deeply rooted in their embodied experiences. These modalities create opportunities for clients to experience belonging not just in therapeutic spaces, but within themselves.
For queer clients, finding a therapist who understands the complexity of queer belonging is essential to healing. A therapist who can honour the historical, political, and emotional dimensions of queer identity is better equipped to support clients on their journeys toward belonging. Ellis (2015) speaks to the importance of transcending conventional boundaries in the pursuit of belonging, especially for individuals who navigate multiple marginalized identities. She argues that, “Belonging is not just about acceptance—it is about creating a space where individuals can explore their full humanity, beyond the confines of societal expectations” (Ellis, 2015, p. 33). This kind of belonging can only be fostered when therapists are attuned to the intricate and intersecting experiences of queer clients.
Therapists must also engage deeply with intersectionality in their practice, recognizing how race, class, gender expression, and other identities intersect with queerness to shape the therapeutic experience. Providing anti-oppressive, trauma-informed care means acknowledging the unique challenges queer clients face and offering them tools to reclaim agency and resilience. By fostering belonging in therapy, practitioners empower clients not just to heal from the past but to actively shape their futures with a sense of pride in their identity.
For clients, this translates into a transformative experience where they can show up fully and authentically. Belonging in therapy is not just about addressing wounds; it is about envisioning a future where one’s queer identity is celebrated and empowered. Whether through creative expression, body-centered healing, or intersectional approaches, therapy offers a pathway for queer individuals to reclaim their sense of self, engage with their communities, and foster a deep, lasting sense of belonging.
Let’s Continue the Conversation
If the ideas in this blog resonate with you, someone you care about, or your own therapy practice, we invite you to take the next step. Whether you’re a therapist seeking guidance on supporting queer clients in cultivating belonging, or someone navigating their own identity and looking for support, we’re here to help. You can book individual therapy or peer consultations with us. Alternatively, if you’d like to discuss how these approaches can enrich your practice or life, connect with us. Be sure to bookmark this blog for future insights, reflections, and updates.
Conclusion
Queer belonging is an ongoing, dynamic process that involves both personal healing and collective connection. Whether through the formation of chosen families, participation in activist movements, or engagement in therapeutic practices, queer individuals continuously reclaim belonging in ways that defy societal exclusion. By bridging internal healing with external community-building, we can create spaces where queer identities are not just accepted but celebrated—both within ourselves and the world around us.
References
Bradway, T., & Freeman, E. (Eds.). (2022). Queer kinship: Race, sex, belonging, form. Duke University Press.
Carnes, N. (2019). Queer community: Identities, intimacies, and ideology. Routledge.
D’Emilio, J. (2014). In a new century: Essays on queer history, politics, and community life. University of Wisconsin Press.
Ellis, N. (2015). Territories of the soul: Queered belonging in the Black diaspora. Duke University Press.
Korinek, V. J. (2018). Prairie fairies: A history of queer communities and people in western Canada, 1930–1985. University of Toronto Press.
Disclaimer: This blog offers general educational information and does not constitute professional advice or establish a therapist-client relationship. Please consult a healthcare provider for personalized guidance. Any decisions based on the content are the reader’s responsibility, and Clayre Sessoms Psychotherapy assumes no liability. All case studies are hypothetical with fictional names and do not reflect actual people. We prioritize your privacy and the confidentiality of all of our clients. We are committed to maintaining a safe, supportive space for 2SLGBTQIA+ community care.